There is only one thing in life that can hold you back.

What does your path look like? Is it the one that is well lit, flowering
everywhere with songs that sound if they’re sung by the angels themselves?

Or is your path dark, full of thorny bushes with hideous laughter echoing throughout.

Whats most interesting to me about this question is that the answer to both is the same: its yes. Both of these paths are yours and just about every given junction in life.

Whats important isn’t which path you choose, its which you that you choose to go down that path. In every situation we have the choice on how we will deal with it. Lots of times people choose to react to the situation. Truth is, responding is a far better approach. A reaction is very gutteral or emotional. A response uses intellect to confirm or deny whether the reaction is the best course of action. Sometimes it is, sometimes not so much.

As we work on making a response the habit as opposed to the reaction, responding becomes easier. And since a response by us is generally something closer to who we truly are, the easier it becomes for us to respond, the more aligned with the true us we will be.

Ultimately we want to bring our best self on any journey. We can do that when we are in alignment with who we are.

Be connected-

We’re separate enough: Let’s focus on 6 degrees of connectedness

In the mid 90’s a very fun “parlor trick” came about called “6 degrees of Kevin Bacon”. The idea was that every actor in Hollywood could be connected to Kevin within 6 people. Its fascinating how accurate this is and how it proves out the science of networks.

An equally popular use of the phrase is “6 degrees of separation”. Like the Kevin Bacon scenario, this idea suggests that everyone on the planet is connected via those 6 degrees.

My problem with that is the word “separation”. Aren’t we as humans separate enough? I mean, we go so far out of our way to celebrate our differences. Which is especially perculiar considering how similar we are both genetically and from an energy perspective. Newsflash, we are all part of the same.

In an attempt to change the energy around the 6 degrees, I use the word “connectedness” in lieu of “separation”. I understand that mathematically it is the inverse, but from a message perspective, it brings us closer as we should be.

I have also contemplated the 6 things to which we should be most connected. In no particular order they are:

The planet
Others
Technology
Self
Our bliss
The Universe

Want to know more about how being connected to these areas benefit us, check out my talk at TEDxdetroit on 10/21

Be Connected-

Terry

I have been a featured writer for The National Networker for about a year now. It’s a great publication that highlights the Relationship Economy and other things Networkers need to know.

My most recent post discusses how important your ASK is as it pertains to both your business development AND your invoking of Universal Laws.

Why don’t you take a few moments and scan the headlines of posts from yesterday’s edition: http://www.thenationalnetworker.com?

WERALL1 in the Eyes of the Universe

This post was originally shown in The National Networker and is reposted here with their permission.

Universal Guide to Networking with Terry Bean

Did you catch the meaning in the subject line? It’s an important concept to understand not only as a networker, but as a human being.

The universe and networking are aligned in that they support and are supported by our connectedness. When we are connected with others in our network and are connected to the universe, great things happen to/for us.

So many people talk about the idea of six degrees of separation. Stop it! We don’t need to focus on being separate. We are separate enough. Can you join me in touting the six degrees of connectedness?

When we take heed of our connectedness, we are more likely to want to help one another. We also become more comfortable with asking for the help we need. Isn’t helping one another at the heart of what networking is all about? Ultimately it is at the heart of what life is all about.

We are here to support one another. Great networkers not only know this, they go out of their way to make it happen. What is it that networkers know that compels them to behave like this?

I believe it’s the thought behind my subject line. Did you catch the meaning yet? WE ARE ALL ONE. When we work from that premise the idea of causing each other pain goes away. Better than that, we will focus on helping others because it is really the same as helping our self.

I have shared about how that help comes through the universal laws of reciprocity and generosity in the past (see why givers gain). These concepts are what drive networking. And these concepts are driven by our connectedness.

I encourage you to be connecting, be a connector and most importantly…

BE connected-

Terry Bean

Terry Bean is the founder of the fastest growing networking group in Detroit, www.motorcityconnect.com. He is also the founder of Networked Inc., a business development training firm that focuses on helping people make better use of their online and offline networking time. Terry provides trainings and large scale presentations on networking, social media usage and universal laws.

If you don’t know what to ask for, don’t be surprised when you don’t get it.

If you have seen/read The Secret or have practiced using the law of attraction in any way, you know the first thing they have in common with networking: if you don’t ask, you don’t get. Both networkers and the universe want to give to you. The better you are at asking for what you truly want, the more likely you are to receive it.

Do you know what you want? Is it more clients? Maybe you need more referral partners. Perhaps it’s a new staff member that can take your business to new levels. Whatever it on that list, get clear on it. Prioritize it. Understand who is likely to help you find what you seek. Most importantly, be comfortable asking.

If you are an active networker, you will be meeting lots of people. Some are folks you have known for a while. Others are brand new to you. Hopefully you are taking the time to ask them how you can help them (you are, right?). If you do the work of being interested prior to being interesting, most times they will ask you how they can help you too.

This is your chance to get what you seek. Two things happen when you make your specific asks known. First, as you tell an individual or a group of people what you want, you are actually giving to them. Yes, it’s true. Allowing others the opportunity to help us is an act of giving. Don’t agree? Check out my last piece ( Why Giver’s Gain?) on the concepts of the law of reciprocity and the law of generosity. Hopefully that clears it up.

The second thing that happens when you ask is that you affirm your order with the universe.

So here you are asking people for what you seek. If you know about your audience, you can tailor your ask. Increase the odds of having your ask come to fruition by making it relevant to the people who are there. If you don’t know your audience, (you can have an audience of one) ask for the number one thing on your list. You never know who others know until you ask them.

It’s amazing how powerful having a succinct, specific and relevant ask is when you use it. Try it. Try it often. Watch how people want to help when you let them.

Be connected-

Terry Bean

This article originally appeared in The National Network 4/19/09 edition and is reposted here with their consent.

Oct. 4 must be a great day for tear downs

Exactly one year ago I skipped out of my then bosses office as he told me the “bad” news. I could hear how irritated he was at my jubilation as I rapidly left his space. It’s worth noting that I could hear him even though I am a very loud skipper.

Today’s tear down was quite a bit different. We had a group of us show up at Blight busters. and make a difference here in our Detroit by tearing down a badly burned and abandoned house. I think it very important to note: I don’t care from where you are, this goes for you too America, we all need a stronger Detroit. We all need to take part in making it stronger too. The greatest things start with the smallest of efforts.

It’s wonderful to be a part of something that you can feel making a difference as you do it. I think it makes the subsequent highs from it that much better.

We had about 18 people from www.motorcityconnect.com pair up with about the same amount from www.quickenloans.com.  I have been to three different days at blightbusters in the past 6 months and although this was the smallest crew, we knocked out much more in a shorter time.  Axes and sledgehammers were wielded with precision, wood was slivered and the dust flew. It was interesting to have first hand experience with just how much trash and broken down house debris can fit into a small dump truck.

The best part about it was the connections we made. I think all participants bonded with others, gained a better sense of self and were touched by the spirit of Detroit. The energy we shared, as tired and worn out as we were, was pure. It was very empowering.

I am very proud of the members who showed up. They represented what is so great about MCC. It was also cool to work with the guys from Quicken. BTW, I am looking for Steve. He’s in I.T. for Quicken and he likely works in Livonia, MI. Good guy.

Be Connected-

Terry

Why I choose THESE 6 degrees…

There are lots of things to which we are or should feel connected throughout our lives. I chose these six:

Self
Others
Technology
Planet
Universe
Joy

Because I believe they are all encompassing categories. By having an awareness of your level of connectedness to each, you will be able to enjoy greater satisfaction.

Here is why each of the six made the list:

Self- if you don’t know who you are, you wont be able live up to your full potential. Self knowledge originates from self connectedness. Take the time to get to know you. I am hopeful that many people will share their experience about how they connect with their own self.

Others- having meaningful connections to others is one of the core tenements of our existence. Life without the involvement of friends, family and all people in general lacks meaning. The discussions on connecting with others will be my most favorite. I am really looking forward to the conversations here.

Technology- While a solid argument can be presented that technology really helps us be connected to one another, technology can help us be connected to so much more. As this series grows I will talk about how we use and which technologies really help us.

Planet- Lakes, Oceans, Trees, Forests, Beaches Deserts and we haven’t even talked about animals yet. So many things on this lovely planet of ours that help us all feel grounded (nice pun, Terry). I am looking forward to learning where and with what on our big blue rock you feel most connected.

Universe- I think this section speaks for itself. If you are not connected to the universe, I have but one question, when will now be a good time to do so? This should be a most philosophical discussion and I can hardly wait to hear from you.

Joy- This is the reason we are here. I used this section to cover all of the things that bring us joy, like money, dancing, smiling faces and even Twitter. What brings you the most joy?

Sorry that it took this long to come out with part two. I promise the first note on “Connectedness to Self” will be here soon.

Be Connected-

Connectedness is the new Separation

For years people have been touting the idea of six degrees of separation. In an ironic twist, the concept actually demonstrates how close we are to every other person on the planet.

Since that is true, why do we use the word “separation”? Don’t we spend enough time creating imaginary differences? This line of thinking divides us. Based on what is going on in todays world, it seems to me that it would behoove us to focus on coming together (someone should really sing a song about that).

In the spirit of “being the change you want to see in the world” (thank you Gandhi for that most powerful and relevant thought) I propose we begin to use the phrase “six degrees of connectedness” to replace the current misguiding statement.

In addition to polishing up the ole phrase, i suggest that we take a look at the six most important things to which we can be connected. My thought is that the six should look a little like this:

1. Self
2. Others
3. Technology
4. Planet
5. Universe
6. Joy

I will be initiating conversations on how we are connected to each of those in the coming weeks.

To what are you most connected?

The ASK-Why it works universally- #5

Four posts later we are finally going to get into why ASKS work. You have likely read, “ask and ye shall receive”. There is a lot of truth to that Asking is always the predecessor to receiving. Ever wonder why?

There are many laws that govern the universe. The ones that pertain most to business networking are:

The law of attraction
The law of reciprocity
The law of generosity

If you’re familiar with “The secret”, you have learned a lot about the law of attraction. The concept in most simple terms is thoughts become things (if you haven’t already, sign up for mike dooley’s daily note from the universe at www.tut.com). “The secret” teaches us that there are three steps to attracting:
Ask- determine what you want and hold it in your consciousness. Feel the feeling of already possessing what you seek.
Gratitude- being grateful for what you have is far more powerful than complaining about what you lack. Maintaining an attitude of gratitude allows you to have the right mindset to attract what you seek.
Receive-you need to be prepared mentally, physically, emotionally and spiritually before you can receive what you seek.

• The law of reciprocity- this is one big reason that people go to networking groups and give leads. The law of reciprocity basically says that as i do good by you, you will go out of your way to do good by me. Simply stated, if i give you a lead, you are likely going to go out of your way to give me one back.

• The law of generosity- the law of generosity is a lot like the law of reciprocity. The difference is that instead of an individual looking to return the favor, the universe looks to return it. This is where the real results come from giving.

If you read my opening statements in the first post, you know that i encourage asking. Every ask results in an opportunity to give.  Surely you don’t have the ability to satisfy every need, but when you can, you should. Why? Because you will be enacting some very powerful laws on your behalf. Oh yeah and its really good to help others too

Heres to asking, giving and laws we can all live by.

The best way to get help: ASK, part 1 of 5

If I could give you just one piece of advice when it comes to both networking and universal laws of spirituality, it would be simple; ASK.

So many of us find it challenging. Like it’s a sign of weakness. Or maybe you were taught that you need to make it on your own. That others aren’t going to be concerned with your issues. That’s old world thinking. New world thinking tells us that having the opportunity to help others actually helps us.

We can debate when “networking” commences all day long, but folks in the know recognize the concept of “givers get”. Conventional thinking was that those who give a lot of opportunities will receive a lot in return. There is truth to that. What we now need to consider is that the opportunity to help someone else is also a “give”. By telling others what you seek, you give them the opportunity to help you. If they do, they have both you and the universe looking to return the favor. Now that’s a powerful combination. Sounds like they would be getting more than twice as much help.

This week I will share with you five different posts on the importance of a good ask. The five topics will be:

1. The components of a good ask
2. For what should you ask?
3. Who you should ask
4. How the ask relates to the universe

It is my intention that by reading these five posts you will understand the power that we all have to be the change we want to see in our lives, our businesses and our community as a whole.

Here’s to a great week.

TOSA (To Our Shared Abundance)-
Be Connected-

Terry Bean

Why Givers Gain…The Universal Perspective

Dr Ivan Meisner of bni fame has legions of followers believing that “givers gain” why? Because they do. A couple of interesting things happen when you give a referral.

The first one is that the recipient is likely to go out of their way to reciprocate. Meaning that they will become highly attuned to opportunities that would be a good fit for the person who gave them a referral. This is known as the law of reciprocity.

The second thing that happens is the universe bends to make sure that those who do good have good done unto them. If you give a referral to someone, it increases the odds that you will receive one from a totally different source. Some call this karma, universally speaking it is the law of generosity.

How do you make these two laws work for you? Simple, start giving referrals.

Who can you give a referral to today?

What is your AQ?

Many of us can discuss our IQ at length.  We know the score, we
understand what it measures and we may even remember the test we took.

Some of us are familiar with the the concept of EQ.  Our emotional
quotient or emotional intelligence.  This concept basically discusses
our ability to monitor one’s own and others’ feelings and emotions, to
discriminate among them and to use this information to guide one’s
thinking and actions.

This is all well and good, but I want to know about your AQ.  What is
your Awareness Quotient?

Are you aware of your surroundings?
Do you notice even a small amount of the plethora of things that go
around you at any given moment?
Can you dial yourself into the opportunities and signs that present
themselves to you all day long?

Raising your awareness is shockingly easy to do, yet very few people
practice this.  It is a matter of making a conscious and concerted
effort to do so.  Be in tune with the flow of your life.  Realize that
your actions can and do have an impact on those around you.  Just like
the actions of others have an impact on you.

Practice being in the moment in which you are.

If you are engaged in a conversation, be engaged.  Listen.  Listen
both intently and actively.  Don’t worry about what you will say next.
If you are paying attention to what the other person is saying, the
words you need will come to you without much effort on your part.

If you are playing with your child, play like your child does.  Your
appreciation of the time will be far greater as will your interaction.
It’s ok to have fun.  Everybody is doing it.

Should you find yourself in nature, take some time to get really quiet
and listen to the sounds of it.  How many birds can you hear chirping?
Do you hear crickets or other insects?  Is there water moving nearby?
How far off is that semi rolling down the road (special note, if it
is coming right for you, you will need to get out of the way and
realize you really aren’t in nature at the moment).

If you are writing, let the words move from your head to the keyboard.
If you are truly in the moment, they will flow to your fingers as
fast as you can type.

Realize that there are no ordinary moments.  There is never nothing
going on.  Love the moments you live and you will live the moments you
love.

Make a Positive Impact

Every action has a reaction.

Everything you do is an action.  Yes, even in doing nothing you are
taking an action.

All of your actions create reactions.   Those reactions can play a
part in aspects of your life of which you are not even
Cognitively aware.   In fact they may impact those you know and not
even involve you.

Since we are already all connected the action may impact someone you
are about to meet.   This is why it is important that the energy you
put out is worthy of the energy you wish to receive.

No one looks to receive bad.  You don’t even run into a lot of people
who wish others a bad day.   Seriously, when was the last time you
heard someone say, have a bad day?

So why is it that so many people have bad days?  Why aren’t they all
good?   We only have ourselves to blame.

So many of us put negative energy into the ethers.  Its amazing how
few of us recognize this.  As you give negative, you are setting your
self, and those you encounter, up for negative.

Think of the many ways you give energy:

You can be with a loved one
You can take change from a cashier
You can tip a person at the car wash
You can be stopped at the same light as another driver
You can reply to someones blog

You get the picture.  What sort of energy will give?

Realize that the smallest stone cast into a stream makes an impact.
Will yours ripple or wave?   Either is great as long as it flows in a
positive direction.

Roll the right way.

Find Your Flow

When Oprah revealed “the Secret” in February, 2007, she made an
EXCELLENT point about people finding the current of their life and
riding with it. I call that “finding your flow”.

Everyone of us is here for a reason. We put ourselves here at the
exact time we did so we can have and share the experience of being
here. The having and sharing all should be good. Why else would we
want to be here?

We realize that there are times when good doesn’t happen, so we just
take the good from the experience. I think of golf. There are 87
different ways to mess up a shot. If you look at your ball after you
hit, you can always find 1 good thing with it. Focus on that and lose
the rest.

The flow of your life takes place as directed by you. Awareness of
the signs that are placed to guide you, will often put you in the spot
you need to be. If you truly thing about what you want and focus on
it, you will create ways of getting it. Too many of us don’t take the
time to pay attention. We keep saying we live in a fast moving world.
That’s true, but only when we let it be.

Talk about interesting. My dad did a great job of getting his flow.
He accomplished amazing things and grew a solid business. My mother
actually did exceptional in directing producing and choreographing
plays, but didn’t find her flow in the business end.

The flow only stops when you let it. To let it, you have to observe
it and know what it is. The signs are always there for your
observation. Take the time to read them, because you put them there.

I like living in the flow. You will too.

Terry Bean